Witness Stand (1) Magic Theory Research Lab Researcher

“Uwah… Mr. Lawyer, what’s with that person?”

Scrunching her forehead, Claudia’s hysteric voice wasn’t uncalled for. If I hadn’t known Samantha beforehand, I would have felt the same.

The prosecution side’s door opened, and the one who emerged was researcher of the magic theory lab, and the one in charge of the corpse’s autopsy in this case, Samantha Warrick.

“Whiiish, whiiiish.”

Raising a creepy oxygen sound, she entered the court room, and stood at the witness stand.

The gallery certainly did act up when Claudia made her entrance, but this time’s clamor was clearly something different.

The courtroom sketch artists opened their mouths, and stopped their pens momentarily. Could we call the one before our eyes, the one standing on the witness stand a human, or an alien, or something else entirely?

“P-pp… Prosecutor Schaefer!”

The judge’s dignified white beard shook left and right as he demanded an explanation from the female prosecutor.

“What is the meaning of this!?”

… Yes, exactly. No, I had half-expected it, but for her to really do it… that’s actually praiseworthy.

On the witness stand was a mysterious woman with a large gas canister over her back. No, by appearance alone, it would be difficult to determine she was female, so perhaps there were people out there who thought this alien was male.

As should be expected, Samantha had changed out the clothes she had been wearing yesterday. As if it were made to operate outside a high-tech space ship, she wore white protective clothing.

That figure without the slightest exposed skin was truly an alien. The black tube extending from the gas cylinder on her back linked to a device attached to her face, and I’m sure it was pumping oxygen there.

Right in the center of that spherical white helmet was a transparent, rectangular glass screen, and from it, she could barely make out the situation outside.

… Huh, how are we supposed to talk like this?

It was such a bizarre scene, that my own levelheadedness was my greatest mystery.


For some reason, Prosecutor Schaefer made a discouraged expression. That protective armor likely wasn’t by Cate’s will. Whenever things didn’t go her way, she’d immediately start sulking, so it was easy to tell.

“This is chief researcher Samantha of the magic theory lab. She um, has a chronic… illness of sorts? Without her gas canister, she can’t go outside.”

Chk, click. When I thought I heard some strange mechanical sound, I noticed Samantha place something on top of the table in front of the witness stand.

That’s… a speaker?

Psssh, whiiiiiin, chk, chk… the speaker made some incomprehensible sounds. And, “Testing, testing, one two three.”

Just as I’d heard yesterday, it was Samantha’s hoarse voice. The sound quality was actually quite high.

“Ah, ahem. M’lud, this is just medical equipment. It’s something like a pace maker, so please don’t pay it any mind.”

“I… see…”

… So that’s how it is. Truly the times have changed. The judge opened his eyes wide in surprise, as he decided to accept her odd attire.

No, you can’t just accept it, there’s something off here. I had a mountain of retorts, but it was largely irrelevant to the case at hand, so I forcefully pushed down the words coming out of my throat, and prepared to hear out her testimony.

“U-um, Mr. Lawyer.”

My shoulder was poked. Turning, I found that Claudia had moved herself closer to me. She made a serious face as she spoke. “It’s the first time I’ve ever seen an alien.”

“… That’s no alien. That’s a pervert.”

“Perwort? Is that some kind of plant?”

… Someone teach this woman some common sense.

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2 Responses to Witness Stand (1) Magic Theory Research Lab Researcher

  1. Metroxylon says:

    This chapter is stealing from gag manga and should be prosecuted.


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