Have you ever turned to your diligent friend trying to say,
“I’ll do my best,”(TL: Ganbarujan)
Only to accidentally come out with,
“My name is Jean Valjean”? (TL: Jan Barujan)
Well me neither. Seriously.
Now then, I see analog games are making a resurgence these days (or I am still behind the times?). Like Yoyo and marbles, and tops and such, just with a new spin on it. It doesn’t cost much, and there are no fixed rules like a computer game, so there are unlimited possibilities. A little bit of chaos is always nice. So anyway, with that being the case, I’d like to introduce a few strange analog games I played in my own student days.

Shoekicking Championship
The way you do it is simple. Sit somewhere where you can swing your feet, hang your shoes on the tips of your toes… and then you just hit that point below the knees the doctor smacks! How wonderful! Don’t you see how wonderful that is!?
Meaning it’s a championship of shoekicking using nothing but your natural reflex.
A game that uses a contraption built into the human physique even more natural than instinct! At school! At work! All around town! By all means, give it a go! I think you’ll burst out laughing after the first minute(probably).
By the way, I don’t know why they call it a championship.

Superhuman baseball.
You need to prepare three things for this one. First a bouncyball. A small hard rubber ball that jumps really high. Please buy as many as you can from the local toy store. Next, a weapon of choice (what you’ll use instead of a ball. The harder it is, the greater advantage you have).
And, preparing this one is the hardest part…  a large, paved parking lot. It doesn’t have to be a parking lot as long as it’s paved, but at the very least, it has to be parking lot-class size or you won’t be able to play.
After that, try holding a match exactly as you would with baseball.
To anyone who knows the attributes of a bouncy ball, I’m sure you can imagine just how fearsome such a match would be. Why do you need to buy so many of them, why does it have to be pavement, I think you can imagine it. No, it’s even worse than you’re imagining.
Thanks to a certain upperclassman, I joined in only once but… let me declare it. At the very least, it’s not a game for humans to play. You have to surpass humanity.
… I know I’ve written this far, but please don’t try this at home. It’s for bad kids.
No matter what you do, I take no responsibility.
But my favorite game of all was daydreaming about all sorts of thing. When that took into effect, I ended up writing something like this.
Ah, but the thing I enjoy even more than that is video games and… yeah, not.
I was ordered to write about my editor’s input, and what happened when I was writing, and my impression on the illustrations, so I should touch up on those for argument’s sake.
This work was, err… it doesn’t really have a theme. I just condensed all the ideas I’d been saving up over two uneventful years. If I had to say, I treasure it like a tiger cherishes her young. It’s a tiger cub. But if you asked me if I had to enter the tiger’s den, well…
How about we go with events that took place while I was writing. Right? Umm, err… well. I think I was writing and revising from November to February. I took on a part-time job over Christmas, and I was working at the moment the year bled into the net and… wait, when exactly did I write the manuscript anyways? Of course, Valentine’s day was…
How about my opinion on the illustrator? Yep? 2C= Galore’s illustrations? Wonderful. My heart’s pounding. No seriously, what should I say? Thank you. So anyway, my editor over here is asking me to write my opinion when he’s only ever showed me the rough sketch of the cover. What’s that supposed to mean? 2C= Galore, you should stick it to him too.
And as for that editor, Nabae. I ’m surprised you patiently waited a whole two years. When I bit onto talks of an editor shift and said, “please get me a beautiful intellectual woman editor who looks good in glasses,” I really must lower my head to the manly spirit you showed when you completely ignored me. I think it’d be a load off my mind if you stuck with me a bit longer. That’s a lie. I’m glad to have you.
Now then, the end is near. If possible, I’d love to meet you in the sequel.
To fans of my previous series, and everyone else reading, I hope that you enjoy this work.

Hayashi Tomoaki, June 2004

↽Back Title End

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